"...these loaves that I will share with you, were baked with love, and what I know so far. I'm a firm believer that we are what we eat, and I pray the bread I share here with you, will nourish and encourage you".

Wednesday, June 24, 2009


Have you ever noticed that there are those who no matter what is being done or said, can always find something wrong? And having a conversation or being in relationship with them is like tip-toeing through a mind field, with bombs planted everywhere. And where the last word is always theirs and it is always how you could have, should have done something better or different. Have you ever felt numb, empty or devalued after talking to or even being in the company of these kind of people. Have you ever thought that things would be better or easier if only they would… Well guess what, they wont!

Yes I’m referencing to dealing with difficult or toxic people. You know the ones who sometimes pretend to friends or those overgrown toddlers that show as a parents, siblings, wives, husbands, coworkers, bosses. Those people in our lives that you just can not get along with, and you can not shoot, and you think life would be so much sweeter if only they would… Well like I said, they’re not likely to. So then what possible purpose could relationships with these people serve in our lives? For, though we may spend time trying to figure out what their problem is, the reality, or at least as I see it is, it’s not about them, it’s about us.

I believe that everything in our lives is about us, every thing and every one that we encounter is in some way great or small there to show us, teach us or push us onto higher ground. Yeah, I imagine you are wondering what your toxic girlfriend knows about higher ground, when she cant even handle the lowlife she’s dating. And your thinking that your relationship would be more peaceful if only you didn’t have to hear about it, if only she would not monopolize every conversation. But might I suggest you think about it this way. If you’ve identified this about her, you’ve also identified options for yourself. For every time we might say or think if only they would…..we have the opportunity to do or be what ever it is that we are sure would make the world a better place.

Let me share with you a little story;
Once upon a time there was a women who ended a very bad relationship with her very argumentative boyfriend. Though she was sure that it was his insecurities flaring up, this knowledge did not keep her from being pulled into his drama. She often though, if only he would grow up! If only he would shut up! If only he would leave me alone. Well none of those things were in his plans, eventually realizing this, she left him. She made a vow to her self no more drama! And then she met Mr. Drama with a capital D, now of course he didn’t show up that way, she’d have been far too smart to fall for that, what with her declaration of drama-free relationships. No, It took about a month or so and by that time she was hooked. So she thought to herself, having made this promise of drama-free relationships, “how on earth did she end up in another one.” Then she realized that it was an opportunity for her to confirm her deceleration. Every time she herd herself think if only he would… she realized he wouldn’t and that it was up to her.

She, over time grew to appreciate both of these relationships that pushed her past the point of ever again putting up with such nonsense, for she learned once and for all the valuable lesson behind the thought. In only they would…..and that is whether they do or don’t is on them. But every time we identify another’s perceived short coming, we are given the opportunity to grow a little more by showing up in the way we wish they would.
The End

So you see this is what I know so far;
Those with whom we assemble, we eventually began to resemble! Who we are - our very essence - is continually being transformed by the messages we receive and the company we keep. “If only they would…” Well, don’t hold your breath. Relationships are a two party dance and every time we think, say or feel if only they would… We have an opportunity to take the lead.

1 comment:

  1. I agree 100%. Every person or experience as the potential to serve our higher good if we let it.


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Cassandra takes center stage at The Marcus Center For The Performing Arts to sing the National Anthem, at the 2010 Birthday Celebration for Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.