PAY THE MAN

POOP POINTS

I started jogging many years ago and I love it. It is empowering. It is freeing. It is spiritual. But it didn’t always feel that way. Years ago while living in California I began to jog. I used to run 6 out of 7 mornings a week. I ran Lake Merritt, a man made lake covering 155 acres of land right in the heart of Oakland. I’d always park my car in the same place, walk the same distance to warm up, start my slow jog on cue and feel as if I could not run another step in the same place. I used to call it, the “poop point.” It was the place where I would allow myself to quit.

"The place where I would allow myself to quit" -WOW! That’s scary isn’t it?

Do you have poop point?

Anyway, I thought that I was pretty good up to that point. For when I was in High School I ran track. 110 yard low hurdles to be exact, won many medals, but couldn't even make it one lap around the track at practice for the warm up. And that was just a quarter mile. So now running ten times that distance, I’m thinking was pretty good.

Okay. So one morning I was sitting on the side of my bed feeling thick, wishing I could find a trainer to work with. You see, by not altering my work out, I had hit a plateau, and it had long since stopped yielding any further weight loss. Deciding to do something different I chose to warm up on the stairs which were about a city block long or high, if you will. I passed this guy I'd often seen floating around the lake like a gazelle, he ran so effortlessly it was beautiful to watch. I said good morning to him and he responded by asking if I were going to run. Yes I told him. Then he said "I'll run with you."

Well, I was immediately intimidated. I mean, what I had planed to do, and what he did were two entirely different things. I said, "Oh no I don’t want to slow you down." He told me not to worry, that he would simply run with me. Man, I thought there is no way I’m going to be able to do this- but off we went. I swear I had defeated myself even before I had started, but I was determined to make it. Well at least to my poop point. And so I did. But once there, I began to slow to a walk. "What’s the matter ?" he asked. "Well, I always stop here" I told him. He asked why. "Cause I get tired!" I said, really wishing he'd just leave me alone so I could crawl to my car and go home- never to say good morning to him again. But he did not leave me, instead he too stopped running, and walked with me. I’m thinking, man, leave me alone! But he stayed.

Then after about a block he said "okay lets run again." Well why would I want to do that?!" I asked, and he said "because we are almost there!" And because he would not leave me, I started to run again. I was surprised that my energy was renewed and making it to the end wasn't that hard.

Upon reaching my car he said "now sprint to the traffic light" (about a half block away), and without even thinking that I couldn't, I took off so fast that I actually beat him. When he caught up with me he told me "You can run this whole lake (3½ miles) if you have this kind of energy at the end of a run!" Immediately I thought of my poop point, the place where I allowed my self to quit. But I did not protest when he told me to meet him there tomorrow at 6am, so we could run again. I ask him what his name was, he said "call me coach". And so I did (let me remind you to be careful what you ask for). I met coach every morning and by the end of the first week, I was no longer stopping at my poop point.

Then one day he said "you can run the lake 2x’s around" by now I knew that arguing with him was futile, but that's 7 miles I thought. Long story short, one month to the day that we first started, I did it. I could see him peeking at me from the corner of my eye, we ran the entire second lap in silence. I think he thought if he told me what I was doing, I might stop. But you see, I had simply removed my poop point and replaced it with a finish line. I ran with coach all that Fall. We'd run 10½ miles each morning. Though he could run circles around me, he always stayed by my side.

And to think in high school (at 15 years old) I could not run ¼ mile, but at 35 I was running 10+...

Where is your poop point? I suppose the better question would be, how far could we go if don’t stop ourselves?

And so this is what I know so far;

I learned a very important lesson about possibilities that day. I learned a very important lesson about myself. I learned, and that was just the beginning of seeing how far I could go. I’m sill going. Will I see you at the finish line?

Remove your poop points and meet me there!

DON'T GET IT TWISTED!

A WINNING PLAN

By now we’ve all heard that no plan at all is pretty much a plan to fail. Still many of us are creeping along the road of life with no plan at all. But the beginning of each new year brings with it the optimism of resolutions. In other words we’ve got a made-up mind (at least on that day) for change. Now change is a good thing. Growth in my opinion even better. Still neither can happen without a winning plan...

The high ranking resolutions are around improvements in ones health and finances, often without a clue as to how to see it through. In other words we make noise or resolutions without the strategic steps, or how- to-do’s, or even a plan. So then what’s so hard about planning? Well, it dose take some thought, okay a lot of thought, and it takes work. Okay, okay a lot of work. But what are we doing that is so important that we cant take time to put effort behind thought for ourselves?

So much of how we operate is in the mind. Everything, at least for me starts there. I believe that with focus and discipline, any and I mean anything can be accomplished. Yeah? But that’s me, what about you? Does your life look like what you thought it would? Did you hold true to your resolutions made Jan. 1^st 2009?

There are any number of ways to make a plan. Many of us set time lines. And I think that that’s fine. Does this sound familiar?, By the end of___, I will have achieved____. You can fill in the blank. But the truth for many is that’s where the plan stopped. We give the thought, but not the effort or action.

By now you know that I believe that words are things, and that they have power. The words we say could, and can create situations which then prompt or move us into action. Even more powerful than words is thought. In order to make changes we must first give thought to where we are and why. What are our habits? What are the patterns we habitually fall into which keep us stuck? Equally important, what are our triggers? Those things, when they happen, make us revert back to our old behaviors. I’d advise you to write them down and then give thought and language to what it will take for you to move from where you are, to where you want to be. What will you do instead? This is the beginning of a winning plan.

We live in an amazing time, a time where we have access. We can obtain information quickly and easily. This is another crucial ingredient to a winning plan, for it could be that you have not known where to start- but remove this excuse. Plan to get the information you need. I mean if you don’t know, you should ask somebody. For we all have our strong suits, things we are better at than others. Create accountability by working your plan with a trusted friend to get the things that you are less able to do, done. Use the individual talents of many, therefor stressing no one. I mean, if you truly Plan to Win, do so by any means available. It should be a way of life. Embrace it, and encourage others to do the same. This can simply be done by asking, “Do you have a plan?” I love to ask young people this question, gets them thinking early, lets them know it is a good thing to have!

Now as I’ve said, as I see it [and remember, it’s just my opinion that with focus and discipline]- any, and I mean anything can be accomplished. Let us take a look at focus. For those of you like me with a short attention span could find this to be challenging! But I make focus a part of my day, like prayer, meditation and journaling. I plan Cassandra. I tell her she’s deserving of all good things. I encourage her to be real about what she thinks, does, and why. For without knowing oneself there is no hope of growth. Therefore I’m honest about the areas where she needs to improve, and I’m always compassionate with her. She is trying after all. Then I ask her what she wants. I visualize it, feel it and own it.

I set aside time each morning to do these things before I do anything else, and the doing of this is the discipline. I believe that human beings are creatures of habit. The more we purpose ourselves to do anything the easier it gets- and the better we get at it. Its like exercise for your life. It is in fact, working it out.

So let me ask you this; What are you doing for the rest of your life? Do you have a winning plan? I PLAN TO WIN! I also plan to have a good time and enjoy my life. I’ve got other plans too, but it’s not really about me, it’s about you! Do you have a winning plan? Might I encourage you to plan and plan big. For if you can conceive of it, and hold the thought you will find in front of you the appropriate steps to take. And if you can see yourself at the back end of a winning plan when the path presents, you will be ready and able to follow it.

This is what I know so far!

MOMMY DOESN'T LIVE HERE ANYMORE

Throughout my entire life, my mother has been the safest place I’ve known. I’ve spoken about her often, but trust that I think about her more. It was about ten years ago when I realized that she was failing. Certainly I didn’t want to see it and ignored it for some time, after all fortresses don’t fail! Well at least they're not suppose to. She used to say “I don’t know what's wrong with me, I’m forgetting things.” It hurts me now to think about how I’d hush her by saying, “Momma words are things, don’t say that”.

Kills me to think that she was asking for help, but the truth was I was afraid, for she was the one who always took care. Sure I’d been prepared for a grown-up life, but hey, I still needed the comfort of Mommy! You see that’s what she provided, comfort. My Mommy was like a landing strip for a weary traveler. Offering a respite, refueling, food and lodging if needed. Not just for her family but for everyone. Now. Let me just interject that if you know, or have known of such a place, go there while you still have the chance and say “thank you.” For I shall never forget the pain of landing, nor the blank stare I met, nor the realization that Mommy doesn’t live here anymore!

No, my mommy didn’t live there anymore but where did she go? Sad to say but Alzheimer’s doesn’t leave a forwarding address. It, not unlike a thief in the night, slowly but surely chips away at you, packing your belongings up and moving you right out from under you own nose.

Leaving no clues to those you’ve left behind as to where you’ve gone. Alzheimer’s ranks high on my list right before Cancer of the things I never wanted to know about. But since I’ve been forced to learn, let me share with you what I know so far; Alzheimer’s disease is a brain disorder named for the German physician Alois Alzheimer, who first described it in 1906. It is reported that more than 5 million Americans now have Alzheimer’s. Although symptoms can vary widely, the first problem many people notice is short term forgetfulness. It gets worse over time. As the disease progresses, other symptoms include confusion, and trouble with organizing. Expressing one’s thoughts becomes difficult, you began to misplacing things and often get lost in familiar places. As if all this is not enough, to date Alzheimer’s has no cure. Oh, treatments for the symptoms combined with support can make life better for the millions of Americans living with Alzheimer’s- but it does nothing for those of us who are left with the painful realization that Mommy or Daddy doesn’t live there anymore.

For me it has been like a long Summer day. Basking in it’s warmth while losing light so subtlety till you don’t see it leaving- simply looking up to realize that you are in darkness. And still it is bitter sweet, for it forces me to remember. Not only all that she has forgotten but, to be thankful for what remains...

November is Alzheimer's Awareness Month. Sadly my mother passed on October 7th 2009. After an eleven year journey with my mommy and Alzheimer’s, this is what I know so far: Alzheimer’s albeit a cruel teacher, was a good one.

The most important lesson taught was that if you don’t hold your loved one hostage to the relationship that you are comfortable with, then everyday you can meet them in amazing new places. You must let them lead the way, but I promise you, it’s okay to follow.
The most important lesson learned was “cherish the day” grieving not what is lost, rather embracing what is left.

WHEN I GROW UP

When I was twelve I went to my parents. There were some things that need be said. You see, I was not that obedient child. No that was my sister. Nor was I the straight “A” child, that position was held my other sister and of course I wasn’t the son, that was my brother and alas I wasn’t the baby, for he had just been born.

No, I was what you call the spinner child, the one in the middle. Not the smart one, not the good one, not the boy and not the baby, just me. So I decided to just be me, excepting my birth order as an invitation to define myself. I decided that when I grew up I’d be somebody, other than just the one in the middle.

My mother had told my I could, you see, and I believed her. And that expectation of a future was the thing that kept me from going completely off... oh but I came close. With all the other bases covered by my siblings I was rather wild and pretty crazy. And always on punishment. Which as you might imagine didn’t fit into my parent’s plan of a sane and sound household. So after a great deal of thought (about 2 minutes), I devised a plan of my own. I had decided it was time for a talk. so I went to them and I said, “Mother, Father we need to talk… I’ve been thinking, and I’ve decided that since it’s clear that I’m not going to do what you say, you should just leave me alone and focus on Marilyn, Gwen, Carl and of course now there’s the new baby.”

Well, it made all the sense in the world to me, but they just stared at me, I stood my ground and tried to stare back without using the reckless eyeball, which was sure to land my back-end at the front-end of a switch. I now know they trying not to laugh!

After a while (about a nine month pregnant pause) my father asked me "Had I’d planed to move out?" “Well no” I said, “I figured I could hang around here until…” Well that little bit answer was all I could manage and before I could lay out my carefully thought out plan about how I would live in their house, eat their food, and sleep in their comforts, he said “As long as your in my house, your going to do as I say!”

Darn!, I thought but didn’t dare speak, cause it was clear to me that our little talk had ended. And of the many options that we were given as children, talking back, at least out loud, just wasn’t among them. So I walked away thinking that evidently something was lost in the translation. I thought at that time that I might approach the subject latter after some more planning, or maybe when I grew up.

As a child of the 60’s and 70’s you didn’t have the kind of options that many children seem to have or shall I say suffer from these days. We were never consulted about the running of the household or its finances. We were not allowed in adult conversations or even allowed in the room when grown folks were talking, unless of course they were talking to us.

It seemed to me that grown-ups had all the fun, which is why of course I couldn’t wait to be one. I spent a lot of time thinking about the time when I’d grow up. It never occurred to me however, that I’d grow up and long for those days of youth. Those days of rules and guidance, shelter, protection and of course the weekly allowance. Those simple things that make a child feel safe, feel loved. Those days that were reserved for being a child. Those days are gone for me now as well, as for many children.

My parents seemed to know that too much information only served to confuse unformed minds. Too much information at an early stage often serves to frighten children, giving them the illusion that they are supposed to know how to handle it, which of course is impossible.

My parents held us in our places as children until the time we did grow up. My parents gave us the love that all children seek so we didn’t have to look for it in the streets. But these days we expose, talk to and at our children about things that should be classified information at least until they grow up. And then we turn around and want or expect them to be children. I am saddened, but not surprised that we are losing them, for many of them have lost the ability to be a child.

This is truly a submission of suspicion, for as you know I did grow up and I have no children. But I didn’t have to birth them to know that they are in trouble. And the saddest thing of all is that these days many children never even think about the day when they’ll grow up.

POPCORN

Anyone who knows me knows that popcorn is my most favorite food, In the world! I actually know which movie theaters have the best popcorn, and to those I will go and watch almost anything as long as I can have my popcorn. I am a bucket girl, and yes, I want my free refill!

I also have a secret for popping perfect popcorn at home, which was what I was about to do last night, before I realized with horror that I was out of seeds. Well as you might imagine I was stressed, and went to bed craving popcorn. Then it occurred to me that life and people are often like popcorn, oh I’m just tripping? well take this trip with me.

Let us think about popcorn, it is a hard little seed, that is in it’s un-popped, or un-pressured state, it is to say the least unappetizing. It looks like potential but it’s, well, rather worthless. So how does it go from something small and unimpressive to something magnificent? Okay. Well at least something good to eat?

Well, lets check it out. I actually researched popcorn, here’s what I found; Each kernel of popcorn contains a tiny drop of water stored inside a circle of soft starch. The soft starch is surrounded by the kernel's hard outer surface. As the kernel heats up, the water begins to expand, and pressure builds against the hard starch. Eventually this hard surface gives way, causing the popcorn to explode. As it explodes the soft starch inside, the popcorn becomes inflated and bursts, turning the kernel inside out. The steam inside the kernel is released, and the popcorn is popped! Or for the sake of this conversation transformed.

I do know that heat and pressure is definitely a catalyst for change. So now is it just me, or is popcorn beginning to also sound a little like life to you? You see, when a kernel of popcorn is exposed to enough heat it begins to, well explode! When we are exposed to enough pressure we too begin to change. We may begin to brake out of our hard little shells just like that kernel of popcorn, finding it impossible to stay in the tiny places, or spaces, which have held us.

Now, lets examine that drop of water on the inside, Could this be true of us as well? Could there be a soft spot inside us? A soft spot that when triggered just right, could be exposed? That, when we are backed up against the wall could explode past what even we thought possible, past what even we thought we could be? Possibly becoming something wonderful, not unlike popcorn. Becoming light and fluffy.

Now I do understand, that all explosions are not good, and that being turned inside out, might not be a position that we choose to find ourselves in, and maybe that kernel of corn felt the same way. But lets remember the potential. As a matter of fact lets check out the word potential, for it means; Possible, but not yet realized. With a possibility or likelihood of occurring, or of doing or becoming something in the future.

And so, this is where we must do the work.This is where we must nurture or should I say protect that soft inside, our unmet potential. We must trust that it is there, we must trust that it is good, that we be ready for the day that the heat is turned on and the pressure rises, because you see, this is what I know so far; on that day when we are called out, or turned inside out, we too may be transformed into something wonderful. Just like popcorn.

I AIN'T MAD AT YOU BARBRA STREISAND!

I'M SORRY (NO BUTS)

I’m sure you have heard this ever so popular, but very baffling phrase “We always hurt the ones we love”. Why is that I wonder?

We say it as if it were an answer. A reason for the nails we drive, the digs we make, the hurt we cause, when the truth as I see it is that it is an excuse. Maybe it’s because we’ve become too comfortable with the people in our space. Take too much for granted, assume too much. I don’t know, could be a proximity issue. We’re just too close and when I reach out to stretch, I cant help but hit you. Oooh-ouch!

But you know what? I believe that we should at least try and treat our treasures with some modicum of respect. Still I know that even the best, or let me say the most conscious among us, still sometimes hurt the ones we love.

Okay then, if it is something that is so prone to happen, what should be the next action? I’m sorry? Some say, “Love means never having to say I’m sorry”. Talk to me on that one, because I’m not buying it at all! What about you? I mean if you hurt me, you need to say something. But, does “I’m sorry” really work? That's a toughie...because you see, once lost, trust is oftentimes extremely difficult to regain. And it could take an incredible amount of time. And depending upon the nature of the hurt, insult or injury, it could be impossible. Those things said and done for the intended purpose to maim are often the straws that breaks the camels back.

But before we go to far, lets go back to. “I’m sorry”. There may be something to learn there. For how we begin to rebuild the trust, love and friendship could be in the acknowledgement of the hurt we’ve caused, albeit unknowingly. Now acknowledgements and apologies, I’m thinking, are two entirely different things. To acknowledge is to show a sign of recognition. In this case a sign showing, or even better a verbal recognition of the fact that something you did or said, no matter what your intention, hurt or caused pain to someone that you love. In my opinion, this is critical otherwise, why are you sorry? If you don’t understand what you’ve done, you are most likely to repeat it.

An “I’m sorry” on the other hand is what I call grown folks business. It is a willingness to relinquish your ego for the sake of someone you care about. And I’m thinking that your but should be left out as well. “I know I hurt you, but...” in my opinion is not an apology at all. I have found that there’s usually a big ole but in front of an excuse. I say leave your but out of it! When apologizing to some one I have learned to simply say, “I see that I’ve hurt you, I’m sorry, please forgive me”. Sure, I have a hundred reasons why I did it, at least one hundred reasons that make me less guilty, however truth in that minute is, who cares, I blew it.

I don’t think that it is okay to hurt the ones we profess to love. I think that it is foolish, selfish and careless. And I hope that it is not a foregone conclusion, to take for granted the love and trust that we’ve been given. I think to think that no matter what we do or say, however we choose to use or abuse those relationships and to think that they will last, is sheer madness. Many an unhappy and lonely person can attest to this.

Cause you see this is what I know so far;
Your feelings of pain and disappointment behind something that I choose for my self, this, I can not help. But recklessly and carelessly hurting you, I can! So when I blow it, let me know it!
I see that I’ve hurt you, I’m sorry, please forgive me.
No buts!

MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS

Has anyone ever had to tell you to mind your own business? Well as a child growing up I heard it all the time. You see I used to be very nosy, not so much now, but I used to be. So my mother was constantly having to tell me “Cassandra mind your own business!”. It was as though “mind your own business” were my last and middle names. I didn’t know at that time what a powerful statement this was, but since I know now, I'm going to encourage each and every one of you to mind your own business!

Now check yourself. Do you feel empowered or insulted? If you're feeling slighted, you don’t know me very well. For I have but one mission in sharing with you what I know so far, and that is to empower, inspire, motivate and hopefully, entertain you.

So then. When I tell you to mind your own business, what I'm really saying is, where is the power in that statement? The fact that no one other than you was never meant to, or is able to mind your business. Whatever your business happens to be.

And whatever that business is, it is worthy of minding.

Not sure? Well then let’s check out the meaning of business, as it is defined:
A particular trade or profession, a company or other organization that buys and sells goods, makes products, or provides services.

Business is also considered to be any activity involving the exchange of money for goods or services the commercial dealings that a person or organization has with another company or individual. And this last definition should include everyone whether you are in business or not, for business also means; The personal responsibilities and concerns, tasks or important things that a person has to do or deal with.

In other words, the care and feeding of you. Your life is your business.

I see business as an agreement, for it is a two party dance. Whether you are minding your own or supporting someone else’s. I also see the willingness to mind your business as opportunity; for it is easier now more than ever before to create your own business. And in my opinion it is the only way to have real job security. You see, when you are willing and able to mind your own business no one can hold you hostage. If your business dose not succeed or you loose your job, the lessons, or as I like to say the muscles developed in minding your own business, remain and strengthen you to start anew. When experience is gained, nothing is lost.

Question. Do you have an entrepreneurial dream, however big or small? Are you aware that you can achieve it, if you will mind it? Are you aware that even if you have no desire to strike out on your own, your personal success lies behind the ability to mind your own business? Minding your own business brings you home to you. It is the willingness to check and re-check yourself. It is the ability to make changes when necessary. It is being smart enough to say, “I don’t know” and being wise enough to get the information.

Minding your own business is personal, it is a position of self empowerment, for if you know your business, you are less susceptible to chaos and distractions, your more able to stay your course, which is the only way of attaining success.

Minding your own business, is a neutral, or nonjudgmental position. When you mind your own business you aren’t as concerned with the business or antics of others. When you mind your own business, you don’t notice the splinter in my eye and miss the wood-plank in your own.

I believe that it is a consciousness of lack, and insecurities that keeps us from the minding of our own business. I suspect that it’s when you believe that there isn’t enough to go around, you might manipulate situations to ensure your gain. You're less likely to support the efforts and business’s of others. When the truth, as I see it anyway, is the only way to grow your dreams, your desires and your business is to support that of others... while minding your own.

So you see this is what I know so far;
The next time some one tells you to "mind your own business" use it as an invitation to be all that you can be. Because if you don’t mind your own business everyone else will try to.
But remember, no one is more qualified than you!

FEAR FACTOR

What are you afraid of? In the dark of night when you are all alone, what is your greatest fear? There is no shame, we all have them. As a matter of fact many of us are ruled by them. And since that is a fact, let us first understand what fear is. For to face anything it must first be recognized, identified, understood or defined.

The word fear is defined as follows; feeling of anxiety, an unpleasant feeling of apprehension or distress caused by the presence or anticipation of danger frightening thought. An idea, or other entity that causes feelings of fear. Fear is also described as a chance or likelihood of an undesirable thing happening. And guess what. Fears are usually irrational, lacking reason or logic. Still fears are very real and really powerful, for often they prompt us to actions. Fear is like the classroom bully. Or those things that go bump in the night.

Now was it just me, or did you too hear words like, ideas, feelings, chances, and anticipations. And the word illusion may as well be added. For that is all that fear really is. A lie. These are the definitions of fear, the root of fear is an entirely different thing, which should also be defined. However that is personal.

Let me share with you a story, or a lesson if you will, taught to me by my nephew. This was just one of many things I have learned from him. This one taught to me when he was just 5 years old.
At my parents home there was this huge blow-up cow. I believe it was some promotional tool, and it was big enough to get the point across. But for some reason it frightened my nephew. It was kept upstairs, therefore that became a place where he would not tread. Not until the day that he taught me a very powerful lesson about the facing of ones fears.

I was visiting, and as usual when I came to town I spent a lot of time with him. I’d asked him if he wanted to play our favorite video game, which was also upstairs. He said he would and so I headed for the stairs, but he followed me. Knowing that, the thing resided at the top of the stairs, I said “Sweetie, I’ll get it, you don’t have to come with me”. But he said it’s okay Auntie, “I’ve decided to face my fears”.

Out of the mouths of babes, he stopped me dead in my tracks. I ask him to repeat what he’d just said, and he did. Funny how life’s lesson come, it occurred to me that I hadn’t yet made that decision. And I was well into my thirties.
So let me ask you this. Have you, have you decided to face your fears? And if you have, did you find what my nephew did? For upon deciding to face his fear of the thing at the top of the stairs, he found nothing more than a silly blow up promotional item.
Nothing more than air blown into plastic.

Face your fears, and see how silly they are! I invite you, I dare you.
Now I know that there will always be things in life which are a little hard to take, things that we fear. We imagine them in advance. We wonder how we would deal with such situations, and hope they never happen to us. I also know how powerful fear is, for its remarkable how many times the things that we fear might happen to us actually do. But that’s because we’ve fueled them.

Remember, we magnify the objects of our focus. Good or bad, our thoughts are energy and they have growing power. Often times fear shows up as insecurities. And our fears and insecurities can rule and wreck our relationships as well as our lives if we don’t face them.

So now, let me ask you this; which would you rather do- fuel your fears or face them? You get to decide, but before you do, might I share with you what I know so far?
Fear is False Evidence Appearing Real. Fear is little more than a decision we’ve have made to react to something in a particular way. Often before we truly know what we’re dealing with. Change your mind and face your fears.

INCURABLE

Believing as I do that words are things, I have found it necessary from time to time to smith a word. That is to redefine or refine it’s definition into something that has within it more possibilities for success. Never may this tweaking be more needed than when one is given the devastating news that their prognosis holds no happy ending. That one’s affairs should be gotten in order.

That what they have is incurable.

The word incurable is as defined; Impossible to cure and impossible to change. “That’s it, that’s all they wrote”. But wait before we spin out of control, remember we have the ability to smith, redefine and refine this definition one that offers options, to one that offers hope, one that offers possibility... one that offers life.

In order to see it clearly let us dissect the word, let us separate the word in from the word curable. The word in is a grammatical word indicating that something or somebody is within or inside something. Now let us examine the word curable. It is as defined; capable of being treated by medical procedures, able to be healed.

Now let us rejoin our words in and curable, now that it has a whole new meaning. Incurable now tell us that the cure, or our healing is already within us. I am far more encouraged than afraid of the word incurable for I am reminded that as a child of God, everything I need whenever I need it, whatever it is, is available to me, is within me.

Our faith is often the last resort when the medical profession appears to fail us. But the truth as I see it anyway, is that every single healing by whichever way it come is a miracle. And let us examine for a minute, what it is to be healed. For one’s own healing is personal. As most of our souls are wounded on some level, often times it is not until the ultimate challenge comes, the one that’s threatens our very mortality, that we go ahead and do the growth. Do the thing, live the lives that we were meant to live.

And while we are looking, let us look at living shall we? The thing about life, the common thread that stitches us all together is that no one gets out of life alive. So what…you want to live forever? Or live for real? There’s really only one choice. Make it.

Because you see this is what I know so far; As soon as you do, as soon as you decide to live and decide for yourself how your life will be, no diagnosis will phase you. For you will be in-lighten, in-abled, in-powered, in-couraged and incurable!

WITH INTEREST

Lets go to the bank, shall we? But first, let me ask you this; How many of you have checking accounts? Interest bearing checking accounts? Excellent! Okay now, how many of you have saving accounts which pay interest? Good! Then this will be a simple principal, for I am sure that we all could stand to benefit from our holdings.

Let us travel the road that defines Interest. In finance, interest has three general definitions:

*Interest is a surcharge on the repayment of debt. You know, that money you borrowed. Well they want it back with interest! But we’re not trying to pay money, we’re trying to collect right?

*Oh! This one is better. Interest is the return derived from an investment. It’s the stuff you get back based on what you put in. So as we go on, let’s not forget the word investment...

*Interest is lastly said to be the right to one's claim in a corporation such as that of an owner or creditor. In other words it's their business in your business.

I see that I lost some of you at the word investment, but stay with me, for it is as true in banking as it is in life that you may not collect on that which you have not invested in. Don’t take it personally, the banker simply does not know you. But when I think about collecting with interest, I offer that even those who appear to have no holding will still collect with interest.

Life as I see it is much like banking, and we would therefore do well to invest in it mindfully, for life is an interest bearing account... and I promise you that you will be paid back with interest on whatever you put into it.

So now if we are talking about life let us examine our relationships. How many of us are withholding from our relationships? How many of us are waiting for a dividend before we will invest in our partners. Tricky business, cause remember you are paid with interest, on what you invest, which means if you are withholding, that is about what you will receive. with interest!

Now lets take a look at our children, take a non-judgmental look at those relationships, especially if your children are grown. Know that when I say non-judgmental, I mean be prepared to take a honest look at what you invested. Do you see how you may be receiving with interest, on that investment. Now this is not about condemnation, many of us have wonderful relationships with our children. This is about the principal of Sowing and Reaping and, might I add, with interest.

We have but to take a look around us, at our homes, at our community to see that some one has sown a mess. Someone is not investing in their children. Some one is not taking care of business. Some one is not following the law. Some one is not playing by the rules, some one is cheating. Some one is lying, some one is shooting and many are dying. And all of those who have invested in any form or fashion in this mess are collecting with interest.

If life is like banking and I believe it is, then let us please be mindful investors. If not for your community, if not for your partner, if not for your children, if not for me, then for yourself.
For what I know so far is that you can and will only, and without fail, collect on that which you have invested in, with interest.

If You're Not Dressed, You Can't Go!

HERE COMES THE JUDGE!

ALLOWANCE

When my siblings and I were children we received an allowance. It came once a week, usually on Saturday afternoon, after our chores were done. Understanding the wisdom of my parents now, this was to ensure that we did our chores without too much prodding. So after the beds were made and the bathroom, which was my job to do, was scrubbed and everything else that was on the list of chores to do was done, we would them go to our parents, hands out stretched to receive our allowance. The amount varied according to our ages. I started out at 35 cents. This would allow me to purchase 35 pieces of penny candy. “Oh my God” I was in heaven.


Let me ask you this, when was the last time you received an allowance? Not quite sure well, lets check the definition, an allowance is as defined:

• A small sum of money paid regularly by parents to a child so that the child can make his or her own purchases.
• An allowance could also be a budgeted amount of something given out at regular intervals or for a specific purpose. Or a toleration.
• The allowing of something to happen, the tolerating of it.

Now for the purposes of this loaf, this food for thought, I would like to focus on the last definition. Toleration: the allowing of something to happen, or the toleration of it. You see, as responsible adults most of us no longer receive an allowance from our parents or anyone else for that matter. We are, or should be amply motivated to do what need be done with out the prodding or bribing of an allowance.

Still allowances are needed in life and it is now up to us to allow ourselves. Allowances enable, motivate or permit something to happen. I fear that far too many of us are still psychologically waiting for an allowance, waiting for permission before we allow ourselves to check us off of our to-do list.

Many of us seem to be waiting for permission or an allowance to live the best lives possible, to live the lives of our dreams of our desires. But it is up to us to permit this. What will it take for you to allow yourself? Unfortunately for some it is a devastating disease. For others it is a death, the loss of a loved one. Some find an allowance at the end of a job or career and then there are those for whom an allowance is found at the end of the road.

But allowances need not wait when we allow things to happen. We need not find ourselves at wits ends in order to permit, we need not die in order to live. We need simply to allow it, for I have found that once we allow or permit ourselves the world will acquiesce.

It is a often seen as being selfish. And selfish is of course a dirty word. Yes, we are taught that the looking after own desires, the being concerned with your own interests, needs and wishes while ignoring those of others is self-absorbed, conceited, self-seeking, mercenary, self-interested, egotistical, self-regarding, pompous, egocentric, arrogant and haughty. But I’m thinking we should give ourselves an allowance to redefine selfish. You see, I have often found that we are often labeled selfish when we are not doing what someone else wants us to do. And there seems to be a never ending list of things that other feel should be done by us.

But you see, this is what I know so far;
In our attempts to avoid being seen as selfish we have overlooked the root of the word, which is is little more than a characteristic of the word.
So if we allow others the accredited us, if we find our self-worth at the end of a long list that does not include us, a list which we have worked with little or no regard to our selves, our dreams, our plans, our lives, our health, we are not selfish. No, we are foolish.