This week on That's What I'm Talkin' About, Cassandra and Silver Rae have special guest and celebrated author (Work Makes Me Sick!), Jeff Percival. Click on the link below to listen their conversation on TalkZone Radio NOW!
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Sunday, July 26, 2009
YOU GOT ISSUES? MAYBE IT'S YOU!
Let me ask you this; are you the kind of person who all ways has a issue? Maybe you are gifted with the ability to see exactly what’s wrong with everyone in your life. Do you become frustrated easily? Have you ever felt that everyone is out to get you? Have you ever noticed that even when something starts out well, before long it all begins to fall apart? Do you here yourself saying things like “every time I do” thus and such this thing happens? Or if it’s not this thing then surely it will be that thing. Do you always know when something is about to go wrong? You just see it coming. Oh yeah, and you feel it be your civic duty to tell everyone you know. Do you find it difficult to settle down in a relationship because everyone you meet has this problem or causes that problem for you. Have you said or herd yourself thinking “there simply aren’t any good ones left”? Oh, and your job, no not the last five of them, this one. Yeah I know, it would be prefect if only...
Tell me now, do you find yourself thinking of most everyone you know “If they would just…”, you can fill in the blanks? I’ll bet you have a long list of what it would take to make them better. (Chile, I know) Don’t you find or feel that you are all knowing, smarter than everyone else, or at least everyone you know? Are you the best at everything you do? Yes, and this is why you ought to control everything, right?
Still you feel rejected, unappreciated, unlucky, not properly respected, lonely, unloved, stressed out, the whole damn world is crazy. The bottom line is you’ve got issues with most everything and everyone. Does this sound familiar? Well I’d like to offer my humble opinion. If you are the common denominator in all of your equations or shall I say issues... if every time something goes wrong you are there... if in other words nothing’s ever good enough, and you cant get along with anyone... then you got issues and maybe It’s You!
There comes a time in everyone’s life where the dots don’t connect, however if you are in a seemingly permanent state of disconnect, I’m thinking you might want to check yourself.
Now don’t get me wrong, this is not about blame. For laying blame serves not to mend an error. And being disconnected from ourselves is nothing more than an error. Sometimes we just get too stretched out if we are not careful to determine who we really are, what is really true for us, where we need to grow as well as those things we have outgrown. This is about being brave enough to take an honest look at yourself. Cause trust me everyone else is. Having issues from time to time is one thing, being oblivious to the issues you have is a prescription for the continuance of having issues with everything.
So now, check yourself. You got issues? Is it you? Good, now we can begin. You see correcting your issues is not nearly as painful as suffering from them. The first step is always in recognition. It is said that the moment we pay attention to anything, that thing begins to change. And things changing and embracing changes is what I’m talking about. The only thing that ever needs to be changed in any situation is you, your thinking. It is the definition you give to any situation that defines (be it issue-less or issue ridden) that situation for you!
Cause you see, this is what I know so far;
Everything and everyone you know has value, everything and everyone brings gifts to the table. Gifts that are often missed by those with unresolved issues. If you hold yourself so far above it all, what will find it that it’s lonely at top. But life was not meant to be lived looking down. Life is far too vast to know everything and far too short to live disconnected!
Still you feel rejected, unappreciated, unlucky, not properly respected, lonely, unloved, stressed out, the whole damn world is crazy. The bottom line is you’ve got issues with most everything and everyone. Does this sound familiar? Well I’d like to offer my humble opinion. If you are the common denominator in all of your equations or shall I say issues... if every time something goes wrong you are there... if in other words nothing’s ever good enough, and you cant get along with anyone... then you got issues and maybe It’s You!
There comes a time in everyone’s life where the dots don’t connect, however if you are in a seemingly permanent state of disconnect, I’m thinking you might want to check yourself.
Now don’t get me wrong, this is not about blame. For laying blame serves not to mend an error. And being disconnected from ourselves is nothing more than an error. Sometimes we just get too stretched out if we are not careful to determine who we really are, what is really true for us, where we need to grow as well as those things we have outgrown. This is about being brave enough to take an honest look at yourself. Cause trust me everyone else is. Having issues from time to time is one thing, being oblivious to the issues you have is a prescription for the continuance of having issues with everything.
So now, check yourself. You got issues? Is it you? Good, now we can begin. You see correcting your issues is not nearly as painful as suffering from them. The first step is always in recognition. It is said that the moment we pay attention to anything, that thing begins to change. And things changing and embracing changes is what I’m talking about. The only thing that ever needs to be changed in any situation is you, your thinking. It is the definition you give to any situation that defines (be it issue-less or issue ridden) that situation for you!
Cause you see, this is what I know so far;
Everything and everyone you know has value, everything and everyone brings gifts to the table. Gifts that are often missed by those with unresolved issues. If you hold yourself so far above it all, what will find it that it’s lonely at top. But life was not meant to be lived looking down. Life is far too vast to know everything and far too short to live disconnected!
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Give Your Blues The Boot!
Listen to the latest installment of Cassandra and Silver Rae's 13 week series on Chicago's TalkZone.com by clicking on this week's episode title below!
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Kick It Up A Notch!
"LIFE COUTURE" continues on Chicago's Internet radio sensation TalkZone.com. Simply click on this week's episode title below to listen to the the show!Tuesday, July 14, 2009
SHINING STAR
What does it mean to be a shining star? I recently had the opportunity to bask in the light of just such a person. There are shining stars among us, and our recognition of them not only helps them to shine brighter, but helps us to see more clearly our own possibilities. The shining star to which I’m referring is a young woman by the name of Lauren. Only seventeen but with a light that shown so bright, it was blinding.
My dear Lauren, this one’s for you and every other Shining Star.
What does it mean to be a shining star? We’ve often heard of rising stars. Would then, a shining star mean one who has risen? Rising stars are usually people from whom much has been seen and from whom much is expected. But what of a shining star?
Could you be one? Not sure, then let us check the definition so as to be correct. The word Shining is as defined: conspicuously excellent and admirable. And the word Star: a shining example to all. Outstanding, being very or most important, skillful, or successful. Okay that’s just some of what the dictionary had to say, let’s continue our investigation of shining stars...
My dear Lauren, this one’s for you and every other Shining Star.
What does it mean to be a shining star? We’ve often heard of rising stars. Would then, a shining star mean one who has risen? Rising stars are usually people from whom much has been seen and from whom much is expected. But what of a shining star?
Could you be one? Not sure, then let us check the definition so as to be correct. The word Shining is as defined: conspicuously excellent and admirable. And the word Star: a shining example to all. Outstanding, being very or most important, skillful, or successful. Okay that’s just some of what the dictionary had to say, let’s continue our investigation of shining stars...
Loving music as I do and it’s ability to give language to our feelings, I see that “Earth Wind & Fire” says “You're a shining star, No matter who you are, shining bright to see, what you could truly be” And you know what, I would be inclined to agree with them. But I’m not alone. The Manhattans also said “Honey you are my shining star & don’t you go away” And then they ask a very important question, “Don't you realize how you hypnotize” Seems to me that everyone knows that you are a shining star, everyone except you. Turn your light on, for Matthew 5:14-16 states "You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. {15} "Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lamp-stand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. {16} "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.
So you see, we are each and everyone one of us are Shining Stars, with blinding lights so bright. But we are, many of us are hiding our lights under baskets. Many of us feel that our lights, if we ever had them, have long sense gone out.
I know a woman who is very talented, more so than she realizes or takes credit for. Now she is, in my opinion, not feigning modesty, she really doesn’t get it. In other words, she is playing small, hiding her light. Now one might say, what’s the difference? Whether or not someone lets their light shine is personal.Well in this woman’s case, because she is not shining her light she is living in darkness and she is raising children in the dark.
I offer that we are obligated to let our lights shine. I believe that we are given what we have, our gifts, our talents, our lives to be a blessing to the world we live in. Also I believe that by allowing our lights to shine we illuminate the way for others to follow. And how, you might ask. How do I let my light shine? It’s really quite simple. Just be the best of yourself. Show up in your life and do what you love. Just answer the calls of your heart. Dare to dream and then follow them. Just know that according to the words of many you are already a “Shining Star”!
And so, this is what I know so far;
Someone may be in the kind of darkness where only your light can be seen. Ignite your light and let it shine!
So you see, we are each and everyone one of us are Shining Stars, with blinding lights so bright. But we are, many of us are hiding our lights under baskets. Many of us feel that our lights, if we ever had them, have long sense gone out.
I know a woman who is very talented, more so than she realizes or takes credit for. Now she is, in my opinion, not feigning modesty, she really doesn’t get it. In other words, she is playing small, hiding her light. Now one might say, what’s the difference? Whether or not someone lets their light shine is personal.Well in this woman’s case, because she is not shining her light she is living in darkness and she is raising children in the dark.
I offer that we are obligated to let our lights shine. I believe that we are given what we have, our gifts, our talents, our lives to be a blessing to the world we live in. Also I believe that by allowing our lights to shine we illuminate the way for others to follow. And how, you might ask. How do I let my light shine? It’s really quite simple. Just be the best of yourself. Show up in your life and do what you love. Just answer the calls of your heart. Dare to dream and then follow them. Just know that according to the words of many you are already a “Shining Star”!
And so, this is what I know so far;
Someone may be in the kind of darkness where only your light can be seen. Ignite your light and let it shine!
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
PLUG INTO YOUR POWER!
Click on the episode title below to listen to this week's installment of Cassandra and Silver Rae Fox's new show on Chicago's TalkZone Internet Radio...isn't it time YOU flipped the switch?
That's What I'm Talkin' About: Plug Into Your Power
Saturday, July 4, 2009
USE YOUR WORDS
When children are young and learning to speak we often encourage them to use their words. They are often more inclined to point out things that they want, to nod in agreements or shake their heads to signal their censure. They often times will cry in frustration and scream in anger. But in order to direct them we say “ use your words”. This of course, after we have taught or provided them with the words to express themselves. But that is them, and that was then, what about now, what about you? May I invite or encourage you to use your words?
You see, the word comes first and life is created after the word. So let us use our words. The Gospel of John 1:1-4 tells us clearly that; In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things came into being through him, and without him not one thing came into being. What I’m getting from this powerful scripture is that words are not only creative power they are law. For they are God. And that with the word came everything else, for God said “let there be” which suggests to me, that we hold the power of life and death and all creation in our mouths, with our words.
The truth is that we use our words constantly, though often times unconsciously. Still the power remains. Therefore we have created such things as darkness and demons who come to rob us of our bliss, those things we really want, the way we think we’d like life to be. And then we use our words to report and repeat all that appears to be wrong, therefore creating more of what is wrong. We use our words to magnify our fears and our pangs, there by creating more of the same. For remember the word comes first and the word is law.
If for example we use our words to hurt or disillusion others what we create is hurt, and disillusionment, but not as we may think, we create these things in the only place where our word is law and that is within our own lives. Conversely, when we use our words to love and support others, we create loving and supportive outlets within ourselves and for ourselves.
Use your words and use them carefully! For our words are the building blocks of our realities. Our words are the bricks our thoughts are the mortar, and our feelings are the energies which build our worlds. It is not rocket science, but it is the law and the ignorance of the law dose not make us exempt.
Habakkuk 2:2 says; Then the Lord replied: write down the revelation and make it plain on tablets so that a herald may run with it. This to me, is an invitation to use our words. Use your words with intention and clarity. It also speaks to the power of the written word. It is the instruction by which our realities are created. For we recognize our own words.
Might we then be reminded to think before we speak. For words, though powerful are impersonal, they can be blessings or curses. They will create after themselves but can only be received by recognition.
So you see this is what I know so far;
Our mouths are the portals by which our minds slip out, let us think first and use our words not to report our fears, but to create our lives as we wish them to be.
You see, the word comes first and life is created after the word. So let us use our words. The Gospel of John 1:1-4 tells us clearly that; In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things came into being through him, and without him not one thing came into being. What I’m getting from this powerful scripture is that words are not only creative power they are law. For they are God. And that with the word came everything else, for God said “let there be” which suggests to me, that we hold the power of life and death and all creation in our mouths, with our words.
The truth is that we use our words constantly, though often times unconsciously. Still the power remains. Therefore we have created such things as darkness and demons who come to rob us of our bliss, those things we really want, the way we think we’d like life to be. And then we use our words to report and repeat all that appears to be wrong, therefore creating more of what is wrong. We use our words to magnify our fears and our pangs, there by creating more of the same. For remember the word comes first and the word is law.
If for example we use our words to hurt or disillusion others what we create is hurt, and disillusionment, but not as we may think, we create these things in the only place where our word is law and that is within our own lives. Conversely, when we use our words to love and support others, we create loving and supportive outlets within ourselves and for ourselves.
Use your words and use them carefully! For our words are the building blocks of our realities. Our words are the bricks our thoughts are the mortar, and our feelings are the energies which build our worlds. It is not rocket science, but it is the law and the ignorance of the law dose not make us exempt.
Habakkuk 2:2 says; Then the Lord replied: write down the revelation and make it plain on tablets so that a herald may run with it. This to me, is an invitation to use our words. Use your words with intention and clarity. It also speaks to the power of the written word. It is the instruction by which our realities are created. For we recognize our own words.
Might we then be reminded to think before we speak. For words, though powerful are impersonal, they can be blessings or curses. They will create after themselves but can only be received by recognition.
So you see this is what I know so far;
Our mouths are the portals by which our minds slip out, let us think first and use our words not to report our fears, but to create our lives as we wish them to be.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
LIFE COUTURE
Photo by: Cherrie Hanson
Click on the show title below to listen to the premiere episode of Cassandra and Silver Rae Fox's new 12 week designer course on life, and how to make yours AMAZING!
That's What I'm Talkin' About: Life Couture
Click on the show title below to listen to the premiere episode of Cassandra and Silver Rae Fox's new 12 week designer course on life, and how to make yours AMAZING!
That's What I'm Talkin' About: Life Couture
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
IF ONLY THEY WOULD...
Have you ever noticed that there are those who no matter what is being done or said, can always find something wrong? And having a conversation or being in relationship with them is like tip-toeing through a mind field, with bombs planted everywhere. And where the last word is always theirs and it is always how you could have, should have done something better or different. Have you ever felt numb, empty or devalued after talking to or even being in the company of these kind of people. Have you ever thought that things would be better or easier if only they would… Well guess what, they wont!
Yes I’m referencing to dealing with difficult or toxic people. You know the ones who sometimes pretend to friends or those overgrown toddlers that show as a parents, siblings, wives, husbands, coworkers, bosses. Those people in our lives that you just can not get along with, and you can not shoot, and you think life would be so much sweeter if only they would… Well like I said, they’re not likely to. So then what possible purpose could relationships with these people serve in our lives? For, though we may spend time trying to figure out what their problem is, the reality, or at least as I see it is, it’s not about them, it’s about us.
I believe that everything in our lives is about us, every thing and every one that we encounter is in some way great or small there to show us, teach us or push us onto higher ground. Yeah, I imagine you are wondering what your toxic girlfriend knows about higher ground, when she cant even handle the lowlife she’s dating. And your thinking that your relationship would be more peaceful if only you didn’t have to hear about it, if only she would not monopolize every conversation. But might I suggest you think about it this way. If you’ve identified this about her, you’ve also identified options for yourself. For every time we might say or think if only they would…..we have the opportunity to do or be what ever it is that we are sure would make the world a better place.
Let me share with you a little story;
Once upon a time there was a women who ended a very bad relationship with her very argumentative boyfriend. Though she was sure that it was his insecurities flaring up, this knowledge did not keep her from being pulled into his drama. She often though, if only he would grow up! If only he would shut up! If only he would leave me alone. Well none of those things were in his plans, eventually realizing this, she left him. She made a vow to her self no more drama! And then she met Mr. Drama with a capital D, now of course he didn’t show up that way, she’d have been far too smart to fall for that, what with her declaration of drama-free relationships. No, It took about a month or so and by that time she was hooked. So she thought to herself, having made this promise of drama-free relationships, “how on earth did she end up in another one.” Then she realized that it was an opportunity for her to confirm her deceleration. Every time she herd herself think if only he would… she realized he wouldn’t and that it was up to her.
She, over time grew to appreciate both of these relationships that pushed her past the point of ever again putting up with such nonsense, for she learned once and for all the valuable lesson behind the thought. In only they would…..and that is whether they do or don’t is on them. But every time we identify another’s perceived short coming, we are given the opportunity to grow a little more by showing up in the way we wish they would.
The End
So you see this is what I know so far;
Those with whom we assemble, we eventually began to resemble! Who we are - our very essence - is continually being transformed by the messages we receive and the company we keep. “If only they would…” Well, don’t hold your breath. Relationships are a two party dance and every time we think, say or feel if only they would… We have an opportunity to take the lead.
Yes I’m referencing to dealing with difficult or toxic people. You know the ones who sometimes pretend to friends or those overgrown toddlers that show as a parents, siblings, wives, husbands, coworkers, bosses. Those people in our lives that you just can not get along with, and you can not shoot, and you think life would be so much sweeter if only they would… Well like I said, they’re not likely to. So then what possible purpose could relationships with these people serve in our lives? For, though we may spend time trying to figure out what their problem is, the reality, or at least as I see it is, it’s not about them, it’s about us.
I believe that everything in our lives is about us, every thing and every one that we encounter is in some way great or small there to show us, teach us or push us onto higher ground. Yeah, I imagine you are wondering what your toxic girlfriend knows about higher ground, when she cant even handle the lowlife she’s dating. And your thinking that your relationship would be more peaceful if only you didn’t have to hear about it, if only she would not monopolize every conversation. But might I suggest you think about it this way. If you’ve identified this about her, you’ve also identified options for yourself. For every time we might say or think if only they would…..we have the opportunity to do or be what ever it is that we are sure would make the world a better place.
Let me share with you a little story;
Once upon a time there was a women who ended a very bad relationship with her very argumentative boyfriend. Though she was sure that it was his insecurities flaring up, this knowledge did not keep her from being pulled into his drama. She often though, if only he would grow up! If only he would shut up! If only he would leave me alone. Well none of those things were in his plans, eventually realizing this, she left him. She made a vow to her self no more drama! And then she met Mr. Drama with a capital D, now of course he didn’t show up that way, she’d have been far too smart to fall for that, what with her declaration of drama-free relationships. No, It took about a month or so and by that time she was hooked. So she thought to herself, having made this promise of drama-free relationships, “how on earth did she end up in another one.” Then she realized that it was an opportunity for her to confirm her deceleration. Every time she herd herself think if only he would… she realized he wouldn’t and that it was up to her.
She, over time grew to appreciate both of these relationships that pushed her past the point of ever again putting up with such nonsense, for she learned once and for all the valuable lesson behind the thought. In only they would…..and that is whether they do or don’t is on them. But every time we identify another’s perceived short coming, we are given the opportunity to grow a little more by showing up in the way we wish they would.
The End
So you see this is what I know so far;
Those with whom we assemble, we eventually began to resemble! Who we are - our very essence - is continually being transformed by the messages we receive and the company we keep. “If only they would…” Well, don’t hold your breath. Relationships are a two party dance and every time we think, say or feel if only they would… We have an opportunity to take the lead.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
HE
He often sat quietly watching us with a look on his face that to this day I still couldn’t describe. He worked hard, thought much, and seems more often than not, lost within himself. He stands tall, and on his lap was the safest place in the world to me. I loved him but I’m not sure I ever really knew him. I do know however what he did. He took care of his family. He combed my hair and on my first day of school, and after my mother had made my dress he hemmed it. He did!
I remember watching his hands, too big to hold the needle. But he did it, and then those same big hands held mine and walked me to school. I held on tight not wanting to be left alone and though he had to let go, he didn’t leave. I saw him standing outside the fence watching me. Protecting me. And because he did, I was able to go on. I’ve never stopped going because he was always there watching out for me and protecting me, even to this day. But he wasn’t the only one watching. I’ve watched him too, and in my watching, I’ve seen him change. I did not know that he was still growing up. He has grown into the most amazing man I know. With energy to do what I could not. He is amazing, and still I would have to say that I’m not really sure that I know him.
What motivates him? What makes him happy? What makes him sad? What is he thinking? What is he afraid of? Who is he, really?
Maybe a daughter could not know. But I’ll tell you what I do know. Fathers are necessary. Fathers are a integral part of a family, often times giving up their own dreams for those of their families. Putting away those things of youth in order to ensure the success and stability of the family. He did that for us. Many do that for theirs. Have you thanked your father lately?
I suspect that some fathers may be the most misunderstood member of the family, getting caught up in the attempts to prove strong in the face of what ever challenges. Trapped by societal belief of what a man should and should not be, how a man should and should not act. Sometimes feeling outsourced by the changing role of women. The looming role of mothers. But how are they, what are they?
Let us examine him for he has is defined in many ways. He could be a:
Birth father
Surprise father
Teenage father/youthful father
Non-parental father
Sperm Donor father
Single Father - as a matter of fact the number of fathers solely responsible for the care of their children is growing at a rate almost twice that of single mothers. Fully one-fifth of single parents today are single fathers -- more than 2 million of them.
And then there are,
Non-biological fathers
Step-fathers
Father-in-law
Adoptive fathers
Foster fathers
Cuckolded fathers - where child is the product of the mother's adulterous relationship.
Social fathers - where man takes de facto responsibility for a child.
But call them what you will, their importance is with out question.
Studies have conclusively shown that children who receive love, attention and interaction from their fathers are healthier and better adjusted. Fathers who take an active role of the raising of their children bring positive benefits in a way that no other person is as able to bring. These children often display higher IQs, better verbal skills, intellectual functioning, and academic achievement. The influence of a nurturing father's involvement with his children often result in a sense of self-confidence for the child which extends into adolescence and throughout life.
The idea for creating a day for children to honor their fathers began in Spokane Washington. By A woman named Sonora Smart Dodd. In 1926, a National Father's Day Committee was formed in New York City. Father's Day was recognized by a Joint Resolution of Congress in 1956. In 1972, President Richard Nixon established a permanent national observance of Father's Day to be held on the third Sunday of June.
So on today, on Father’s Day, and all days of my life I shall honor my father, for he was there, he is amazing, he is a mystery, he is my daddy and because he is, I am.
I remember watching his hands, too big to hold the needle. But he did it, and then those same big hands held mine and walked me to school. I held on tight not wanting to be left alone and though he had to let go, he didn’t leave. I saw him standing outside the fence watching me. Protecting me. And because he did, I was able to go on. I’ve never stopped going because he was always there watching out for me and protecting me, even to this day. But he wasn’t the only one watching. I’ve watched him too, and in my watching, I’ve seen him change. I did not know that he was still growing up. He has grown into the most amazing man I know. With energy to do what I could not. He is amazing, and still I would have to say that I’m not really sure that I know him.
What motivates him? What makes him happy? What makes him sad? What is he thinking? What is he afraid of? Who is he, really?
Maybe a daughter could not know. But I’ll tell you what I do know. Fathers are necessary. Fathers are a integral part of a family, often times giving up their own dreams for those of their families. Putting away those things of youth in order to ensure the success and stability of the family. He did that for us. Many do that for theirs. Have you thanked your father lately?
I suspect that some fathers may be the most misunderstood member of the family, getting caught up in the attempts to prove strong in the face of what ever challenges. Trapped by societal belief of what a man should and should not be, how a man should and should not act. Sometimes feeling outsourced by the changing role of women. The looming role of mothers. But how are they, what are they?
Let us examine him for he has is defined in many ways. He could be a:
Birth father
Surprise father
Teenage father/youthful father
Non-parental father
Sperm Donor father
Single Father - as a matter of fact the number of fathers solely responsible for the care of their children is growing at a rate almost twice that of single mothers. Fully one-fifth of single parents today are single fathers -- more than 2 million of them.
And then there are,
Non-biological fathers
Step-fathers
Father-in-law
Adoptive fathers
Foster fathers
Cuckolded fathers - where child is the product of the mother's adulterous relationship.
Social fathers - where man takes de facto responsibility for a child.
But call them what you will, their importance is with out question.
Studies have conclusively shown that children who receive love, attention and interaction from their fathers are healthier and better adjusted. Fathers who take an active role of the raising of their children bring positive benefits in a way that no other person is as able to bring. These children often display higher IQs, better verbal skills, intellectual functioning, and academic achievement. The influence of a nurturing father's involvement with his children often result in a sense of self-confidence for the child which extends into adolescence and throughout life.
The idea for creating a day for children to honor their fathers began in Spokane Washington. By A woman named Sonora Smart Dodd. In 1926, a National Father's Day Committee was formed in New York City. Father's Day was recognized by a Joint Resolution of Congress in 1956. In 1972, President Richard Nixon established a permanent national observance of Father's Day to be held on the third Sunday of June.
So on today, on Father’s Day, and all days of my life I shall honor my father, for he was there, he is amazing, he is a mystery, he is my daddy and because he is, I am.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
THE BEAT OF A DISTANT DRUM
How would you describe yourself? Do you do, or have you done what was expected of you? Do you wake up on the right side of the bed. Do you dress in the right way, get in the right car parked in the right driveway of the right street and drive it to the right job? Would you describe yourself as a person who went along with the flow or do you constantly find yourself going against the grain?Dancing to the beat of a distant drum.
Now this is not a question of judgment, I’m simply curious.
Many people live their lives in the quote-unquote right way. But there are those who live their lives doing things that other people wouldn’t, couldn’t, and quite possibly shouldn’t do. And they do it with rhythm. Might that be you?
Well if you are not doing your own thing, dancing your own dance. If you are living your life on someone else’s prescription, if for example you are what your family wanted you to be, versus the call in your heart, if you are someone who behaves or thinks in a socially acceptable or expected ways, you are according to my research a conformist. Now this is not the worst way to be I suppose. Living a life that some else has planed could feel a little less threatening and it certainly keeps you from being a threat.
But what if one day, you herd the music playing and felt an urge to dance or sing or create, to break free from the pack in a society which would have none of that. What do you do then? Would you, could you allow yourself the freedom to dance? I’m just curious.
I guess to be sure we should examine those who hear the beat of the distant drum, those who’s hips move freely. Let us take a look at those who reject the flow, the conforms of society, those who move against the grain. These people are called many things, for their behavior is often not condoned. They are labeled eccentric, rebellious, nonconformist and trouble makers. But these are the people who open doors. These are the ones who chart new courses, for they are also free thinkers, artists and visionaries. They make others nervous as their hips move freely, as they dance to the beat that others can not hear.
Again I’ll ask, Where do you fall, are you going with the flow or are you dancing to the beat of the distance drummer?
I’ve been dancing my entire life and cant imagine a life without the rhythm of the distant drum. I cant imagine living any other way, for I have found the most amazing gifts on the less crowded dance floor of life or shall I say the paths less traveled. In other words I did it my way.
But lets talk about that for a minute, for this does not mean that my steps are without order. This does not mean that I answer to no one. It simply means that I answer to no flesh. Instead I listen for the beat of the drum, knowing well the drummer. For you see going against the grain creates a certain rhythm within itself, offering a connectedness to spirit. While dancing with no rhythm… well we wont go there…and there is no need when the drummer’s beat is constant.
Dancing to the beat of the distance drum is not the easiest way. You are often met with resistance, disapproval, or a basic lack of understanding. But those who hear the beat and on keep on dancing are the healthiest people I know. For they are often living a rich and rewarding life, the one's they were meant to live.
What are you doing for the rest of your life?
Might I invite you to a dance. I know the most amazing drummer who never misses a beat.
Now this is not a question of judgment, I’m simply curious.
Many people live their lives in the quote-unquote right way. But there are those who live their lives doing things that other people wouldn’t, couldn’t, and quite possibly shouldn’t do. And they do it with rhythm. Might that be you?
Well if you are not doing your own thing, dancing your own dance. If you are living your life on someone else’s prescription, if for example you are what your family wanted you to be, versus the call in your heart, if you are someone who behaves or thinks in a socially acceptable or expected ways, you are according to my research a conformist. Now this is not the worst way to be I suppose. Living a life that some else has planed could feel a little less threatening and it certainly keeps you from being a threat.
But what if one day, you herd the music playing and felt an urge to dance or sing or create, to break free from the pack in a society which would have none of that. What do you do then? Would you, could you allow yourself the freedom to dance? I’m just curious.
I guess to be sure we should examine those who hear the beat of the distant drum, those who’s hips move freely. Let us take a look at those who reject the flow, the conforms of society, those who move against the grain. These people are called many things, for their behavior is often not condoned. They are labeled eccentric, rebellious, nonconformist and trouble makers. But these are the people who open doors. These are the ones who chart new courses, for they are also free thinkers, artists and visionaries. They make others nervous as their hips move freely, as they dance to the beat that others can not hear.
Again I’ll ask, Where do you fall, are you going with the flow or are you dancing to the beat of the distance drummer?
I’ve been dancing my entire life and cant imagine a life without the rhythm of the distant drum. I cant imagine living any other way, for I have found the most amazing gifts on the less crowded dance floor of life or shall I say the paths less traveled. In other words I did it my way.
But lets talk about that for a minute, for this does not mean that my steps are without order. This does not mean that I answer to no one. It simply means that I answer to no flesh. Instead I listen for the beat of the drum, knowing well the drummer. For you see going against the grain creates a certain rhythm within itself, offering a connectedness to spirit. While dancing with no rhythm… well we wont go there…and there is no need when the drummer’s beat is constant.
Dancing to the beat of the distance drum is not the easiest way. You are often met with resistance, disapproval, or a basic lack of understanding. But those who hear the beat and on keep on dancing are the healthiest people I know. For they are often living a rich and rewarding life, the one's they were meant to live.
What are you doing for the rest of your life?
Might I invite you to a dance. I know the most amazing drummer who never misses a beat.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
D.I.Y.
When I was younger I went through a period where I didn’t want anything home-made, even though my mother was a professional seamstress and was capable of constructing anything and I do mean anything. I wanted to dress like my friends, so I didn’t want to wear anything that did not come from the store. Now, being the loving mother that she is, she indulged this foolish whim with one shopping trip which resulted in a pair of too short jeans from the Wooden Nickel and an ill fitting top from Gimble Shuster’s bargain basement...
You see, I have been 5’9” sense I was twelve and back then store bought clothing wouldn’t accommodate my long frame. My mother knew this of course but she wanted me to learn it for myself. The next time I went back to my mother to ask her to make an outfit for a class field trip, (which I’d often done and she’d sometimes sew through the night to accommodate my last minute request) it resulted in a sewing machine and loving “Do It Yourself.”
Man, had I offended her? Who knew mothers had feelings? Well I learned that they did, but that wasn’t all that I learned, I really did learn how to do it myself. Of course my mother helped me, she would show me how to trim a pattern, how to measure it and make allowances where needed to ensure that it would fit my then size 10 hips and size 6 waist, as well as how to lengthen it so as to be long enough. Because she sewed for people she always had fabric and she would let me pick from some of her choice-pieces. (this was a phrase of hers).
Of course I always wanted to rush through it, but she would check my seams and make me do it right, saying “It should look as good on the inside as it does on the outside. You should be able to wear it inside-out”. Which I thought was silly. Who would ware a dress inside-out? But like so many other jewels my mother gave me, this too became invaluable. As I went on to design for entertainers exacting a high price, and saw many a seam checked.
D.I.Y. My mother could have coined that phrase, for it was what she believed in. She taught me to be independent. Independent of the hair salon, the nail salons, the clothing salons. Her mantra, “Learn to do with excellence anything that you would pay to have done”. Well I took her advice, and I am now the ultimate Do It Yourselfer. As a matter of fact I do it for others too. All the time. Because of the wings my mother gave me, I have earned income as a Clothing & Jewelry Designer for such artists as the late Phyllis Hyman, Nancy Wilson, Abby Lincoln, The Manhattans, Frankie Beverly & Maze…I worked as a stylist doing hair & make-up for a nationally published magazine. I am very capable of doing my own nails. Yes, the left hand is done as well as the right. I build furniture and do window treatments. I am a personal trainer, motivational speaker, talk show host, and a professional ($$) Jazzy Singer. But am I special? Nope, not in the least. I’m just free, free to do it myself. You see, at an age when I was still listening, I was told that I could, and just in case your still listening so can you! You to can D.I.Y.
Something happened, we have advanced ourselves into dependency. Why learn to do it, just pay to have it done. We have become so reliant upon others. Instead of encouraging our children to learn simple skills we have crippled them. Where we used to have to be D.I.Y’ers, we have become the ultimate consumers. And sadder still, many of us seek our worthiness in the amount of that which we are able to consume.
Because I am a D.I.Y’er, I work very hard. My jobs though are not drudgery, I enjoy the work I do. I have turned all of my passions in to dollars, and all because I was told to D.I.Y.
So I’ll give to you the same gift my mother gave to me. “Do It Yourself.” What ever it is, or pick one thing that you are paying someone to do for you, D.I.Y. just try it.
Because I promise you, this is what I know so far;
You will never know what you are capable of doing until you at least try to D.I.Y. And there may never be a better time as June is Entrepreneurs "Do It Yourself" Marketing Month and in this economy the more one is able to do for oneself the better.
You see, I have been 5’9” sense I was twelve and back then store bought clothing wouldn’t accommodate my long frame. My mother knew this of course but she wanted me to learn it for myself. The next time I went back to my mother to ask her to make an outfit for a class field trip, (which I’d often done and she’d sometimes sew through the night to accommodate my last minute request) it resulted in a sewing machine and loving “Do It Yourself.”
Man, had I offended her? Who knew mothers had feelings? Well I learned that they did, but that wasn’t all that I learned, I really did learn how to do it myself. Of course my mother helped me, she would show me how to trim a pattern, how to measure it and make allowances where needed to ensure that it would fit my then size 10 hips and size 6 waist, as well as how to lengthen it so as to be long enough. Because she sewed for people she always had fabric and she would let me pick from some of her choice-pieces. (this was a phrase of hers).
Of course I always wanted to rush through it, but she would check my seams and make me do it right, saying “It should look as good on the inside as it does on the outside. You should be able to wear it inside-out”. Which I thought was silly. Who would ware a dress inside-out? But like so many other jewels my mother gave me, this too became invaluable. As I went on to design for entertainers exacting a high price, and saw many a seam checked.
D.I.Y. My mother could have coined that phrase, for it was what she believed in. She taught me to be independent. Independent of the hair salon, the nail salons, the clothing salons. Her mantra, “Learn to do with excellence anything that you would pay to have done”. Well I took her advice, and I am now the ultimate Do It Yourselfer. As a matter of fact I do it for others too. All the time. Because of the wings my mother gave me, I have earned income as a Clothing & Jewelry Designer for such artists as the late Phyllis Hyman, Nancy Wilson, Abby Lincoln, The Manhattans, Frankie Beverly & Maze…I worked as a stylist doing hair & make-up for a nationally published magazine. I am very capable of doing my own nails. Yes, the left hand is done as well as the right. I build furniture and do window treatments. I am a personal trainer, motivational speaker, talk show host, and a professional ($$) Jazzy Singer. But am I special? Nope, not in the least. I’m just free, free to do it myself. You see, at an age when I was still listening, I was told that I could, and just in case your still listening so can you! You to can D.I.Y.
Something happened, we have advanced ourselves into dependency. Why learn to do it, just pay to have it done. We have become so reliant upon others. Instead of encouraging our children to learn simple skills we have crippled them. Where we used to have to be D.I.Y’ers, we have become the ultimate consumers. And sadder still, many of us seek our worthiness in the amount of that which we are able to consume.
Because I am a D.I.Y’er, I work very hard. My jobs though are not drudgery, I enjoy the work I do. I have turned all of my passions in to dollars, and all because I was told to D.I.Y.
So I’ll give to you the same gift my mother gave to me. “Do It Yourself.” What ever it is, or pick one thing that you are paying someone to do for you, D.I.Y. just try it.
Because I promise you, this is what I know so far;
You will never know what you are capable of doing until you at least try to D.I.Y. And there may never be a better time as June is Entrepreneurs "Do It Yourself" Marketing Month and in this economy the more one is able to do for oneself the better.
Monday, May 25, 2009
MEMORIAL DAY
I can think of few things which magnify our commonalities more than grieving the loss of a life. It seems to be the great common denominator. That pain from which no one can escape, even more so than remembering. Still on Memorial Day all across the country we do just that. For today we commemorate all the young men and women that have fought so proudly and honorably for our nation and have paid for with their lives, many of the freedoms we know today.
From the Revolutionary War to the war in Iraq, today we celebrate and remember the fallen as a group. For Memorial Day is not about division. It is about reconciliation, it is about coming together to honor those who gave their all. But with the planning’s of outings and such it seem to me that The "Memorial" in Memorial Day has been ignored by too many of us who are beneficiaries of those who have given the ultimate sacrifice.
So today and everyday I humbly ask that we observe the day in this way. That we actively remember our ancestors, our family members, our loved ones, our neighbors and our friends who have made the ultimate sacrifice and to be reminded to live worthy of the cost that was paid, as well as be thankful to those heroes who have died in conflicts and wars.
I cant imagine what it must be like to face each day on a potential battle field, doing what you do, knowing that each day may be your last. Rising to the call to bravely protect a way of life knowing that you may not have the opportunity to enjoy it. Leaving your family and friends and all that you hold dear behind, knowing each time that it may be the last time. No I can not imagine this and thanks to the heroes we honor today, I don’t have to. So I can, at the very least, remember. But for whom this holiday is not just diversion, but a painful memory and continued deprivation. Be blessed. Those whose dear ones have died in what appears to be needlessly, wastefully accident or misadventure. Be blessed.
Today we remember with compassion and gratitude those who have died serving their countries in the futility of combat. No one can escape to question death asks of us, but God has provided those of us who have not yet been asked with an answer.
"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted."
Let us all take comfort in knowing that there are heroes who stand ready to do what it takes to continue to protect us even as we go about our day and let us never forget to honor, support and respect them for all that they do and have done for us.
From the Revolutionary War to the war in Iraq, today we celebrate and remember the fallen as a group. For Memorial Day is not about division. It is about reconciliation, it is about coming together to honor those who gave their all. But with the planning’s of outings and such it seem to me that The "Memorial" in Memorial Day has been ignored by too many of us who are beneficiaries of those who have given the ultimate sacrifice.
So today and everyday I humbly ask that we observe the day in this way. That we actively remember our ancestors, our family members, our loved ones, our neighbors and our friends who have made the ultimate sacrifice and to be reminded to live worthy of the cost that was paid, as well as be thankful to those heroes who have died in conflicts and wars.
I cant imagine what it must be like to face each day on a potential battle field, doing what you do, knowing that each day may be your last. Rising to the call to bravely protect a way of life knowing that you may not have the opportunity to enjoy it. Leaving your family and friends and all that you hold dear behind, knowing each time that it may be the last time. No I can not imagine this and thanks to the heroes we honor today, I don’t have to. So I can, at the very least, remember. But for whom this holiday is not just diversion, but a painful memory and continued deprivation. Be blessed. Those whose dear ones have died in what appears to be needlessly, wastefully accident or misadventure. Be blessed.
Today we remember with compassion and gratitude those who have died serving their countries in the futility of combat. No one can escape to question death asks of us, but God has provided those of us who have not yet been asked with an answer.
"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted."
Let us all take comfort in knowing that there are heroes who stand ready to do what it takes to continue to protect us even as we go about our day and let us never forget to honor, support and respect them for all that they do and have done for us.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
AS IF
I’ve got a question; are you a what if thinker? Do you catch yourself wondering or hear yourself asking “what if” this and “what if” that? If so then this offering or loaf of bread was written (or baked) just for you. But first let us consider the tricks of what if thinking. The traps that the what if sets. The time and the thought that is wasted in the land of what if.
Okay now, might I invite you to move from the what if to the what is? For this is, as I see it anyway, the starting point for real change. The what is being the reality of any situation versus the dream and wishes of what we’d like for the situation to be.
Some might say I speak as if I thought that dreams and wishes hold no value in our lives, but this would certainly be incorrect, for I know that our dreams, thought and wishes are what our lives are made of. And those dreams, thoughts and wishes reveal themselves as what is situations versus what if dreams sooner when we are able to master the transforming power of the “As If”.
Yeah, I know this sounds like double talk, but trust me, this is what I know so far. And if you think about it, you too may be able to identify and separate those dreams or thoughts that happen easily from those that do not. The person who is on your mind suddenly calls you, this is easy. You cant seem to get a break, this is not. Question; Have you ever wondered why? Could be the answer lies in the acting or the energy of the asking.
For remember energy is a very real thing and energy is also a magnet and what do magnets do? That’s right, they draw things to us. Things, I might add which are like us, which is why it is critical to act as if. Acting, asking, knowing and living as if, is in my opinion the only way to encounter the now peace in the meantime. The in-between time of the development of our dreams and desires and their manifestation. The as if position offers one the ability to relax knowing that though the revelation is not yet visible, the revelation is.
And it will speak in the appointed time as if on cue. As if, is a position of faith and faith is what it takes to navigate this thing called life without loosing your way or your mind. Simply act “as if”.
I suspect that acting as if is the missing ingredient to seeing our dreams come true. Lets take a look at energy again. We know that as human beings we are fields of energy. Spirit is energy. Energy is the thing that’s felt between people, that unspoken language between you and the world you live in. And there is a vibration or energy field around our thoughts as well it is like the fuel we give to whatever we’re thinking, and the energy that’s given dictates the nature of the outcome. Energy is defined as the ability to do things it is the liveliness and forcefulness behind an effort. In physics, energy is the power supply or source. Bottom line: energy is real and it is a real equation in the revelation of our dreams.
Far too often we deplete our energy with negative thoughts or actions. We may pray or desire of a thing in an angst filled energy field. Drawing to us, not the object of desire but rather the energy of desire. Though words are powerful and are creative sources when spoken, the energy or belief about the outcome is the thing that lingers long after the words. It is the underlying request that get answered. And when we are trapped in the dream land of what if, the land which indicates a hidden lack of worthiness, it is often those things we fear, that we attract.
However acting, knowing and living as if, moves us from the moment by moment watch to see if anything has come of our prayers. Acting, knowing and living as if enables us to rest in the assurance that we are creating those things or situations of our desires. Acting, knowing and living as if, not only moves us out of the what if, but it gives us the peace and the creative power in the what is!
Cause you see, this is what I know so far;
When we can know and speak those things which are not, “as if” they were, they will becoming!
Okay now, might I invite you to move from the what if to the what is? For this is, as I see it anyway, the starting point for real change. The what is being the reality of any situation versus the dream and wishes of what we’d like for the situation to be.
Some might say I speak as if I thought that dreams and wishes hold no value in our lives, but this would certainly be incorrect, for I know that our dreams, thought and wishes are what our lives are made of. And those dreams, thoughts and wishes reveal themselves as what is situations versus what if dreams sooner when we are able to master the transforming power of the “As If”.
Yeah, I know this sounds like double talk, but trust me, this is what I know so far. And if you think about it, you too may be able to identify and separate those dreams or thoughts that happen easily from those that do not. The person who is on your mind suddenly calls you, this is easy. You cant seem to get a break, this is not. Question; Have you ever wondered why? Could be the answer lies in the acting or the energy of the asking.
For remember energy is a very real thing and energy is also a magnet and what do magnets do? That’s right, they draw things to us. Things, I might add which are like us, which is why it is critical to act as if. Acting, asking, knowing and living as if, is in my opinion the only way to encounter the now peace in the meantime. The in-between time of the development of our dreams and desires and their manifestation. The as if position offers one the ability to relax knowing that though the revelation is not yet visible, the revelation is.
And it will speak in the appointed time as if on cue. As if, is a position of faith and faith is what it takes to navigate this thing called life without loosing your way or your mind. Simply act “as if”.
I suspect that acting as if is the missing ingredient to seeing our dreams come true. Lets take a look at energy again. We know that as human beings we are fields of energy. Spirit is energy. Energy is the thing that’s felt between people, that unspoken language between you and the world you live in. And there is a vibration or energy field around our thoughts as well it is like the fuel we give to whatever we’re thinking, and the energy that’s given dictates the nature of the outcome. Energy is defined as the ability to do things it is the liveliness and forcefulness behind an effort. In physics, energy is the power supply or source. Bottom line: energy is real and it is a real equation in the revelation of our dreams.
Far too often we deplete our energy with negative thoughts or actions. We may pray or desire of a thing in an angst filled energy field. Drawing to us, not the object of desire but rather the energy of desire. Though words are powerful and are creative sources when spoken, the energy or belief about the outcome is the thing that lingers long after the words. It is the underlying request that get answered. And when we are trapped in the dream land of what if, the land which indicates a hidden lack of worthiness, it is often those things we fear, that we attract.
However acting, knowing and living as if, moves us from the moment by moment watch to see if anything has come of our prayers. Acting, knowing and living as if enables us to rest in the assurance that we are creating those things or situations of our desires. Acting, knowing and living as if, not only moves us out of the what if, but it gives us the peace and the creative power in the what is!
Cause you see, this is what I know so far;
When we can know and speak those things which are not, “as if” they were, they will becoming!
Thursday, April 30, 2009
MY MOTHER'S HEART
My mom was like grand old house. A mansion with many, many rooms. But my favorite room in my mother’s house was the one which held her heart. I remember when I was young, roaming from room to room, and there was always something there for me. I was given many things in these rooms, and even though each one held something different, they all had something in common.
There was the one which held her faith. She was sure of herself and her place in the world and she shared this gift freely. One held her dreams and because she had them, she encouraged mine. Still another held her patience, which she was to a fault. And of course there was the guidance room, oh and the temperance room, I kinda exhausted the boundaries of those rooms. One held her wisdom, one held her kindness, one held her strength, and once when I was little, I even found my self in the one which held her pain. Oooh, now that one scared me. So I didn’t go back, well at least not for a long, long time. But now thinking back on that room, the thing I find amazing is that the pain never seeped out. It didn’t spill out into the other parts of the house. So you only saw it if you slipped into the room. Humm…But the thing that they all had in common was my mother’s heart.
The house still stands and it’s a beautiful old house. But most of these rooms are closed to me now. I try and remind myself, to be thankful that I know the way home and still have a key, well at least to the front door anyway. I go by often, to check in, help out, trying to maintain the old house you know. And so far she still greets me when I come. For which I thank God.
But before long she's off, she’s slipped into some room or another as there seem to be new rooms in the house now, rooms to which I’m not privy. She seems happy enough though, which is, I guess a good thing. For I’m not as good at hiding my pain as she was.
I stay as long as I can, hoping to gain entrance into now darkened rooms. Just to sit and be and remember. Just the other day I saw her in the kindness room and we sang together, her favorite spirituals. She remembered more words than I did. She looked at me and said “Thank you for what you do for me”. She reached out to touch my hand, and I saw the hands that first stroked my face, the hands that bathed me, the hands that combed my hair. The very hands that held me up, long after I’d learned to walk on my own. Surely I could do these things for her, though I never wanted to be a house, I will shield her.
Cause you see, that’s what I learned in my mothers house. I saw her do for us, everything, often in spite of herself. I learned faith and hope, patience and guidance, wisdom and temperance, kindness and strength and on top of all of that I got my mother’s heart.
And so for every door that closes in my mother’s house, it seems a room is opened in me. I try and create new places for us to meet, as well as rooms that will give to me and to others what my mother gave. Cause when you’ve been loved like that, well, you just got to keep it going. You’ve just got to love somebody.
All in all I am thankful though, because in spite all of the deterioration of that beautiful old house, so far every time I visit I am still greeted by my mother’s heart. And when, and if that changes, I will thank God that I can still remember.
This is not a “This is what I know so far” loaf of bread. Though there are some things I am sure of, I’m sure I’ve much more to learn. You see, twelve years ago my mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. This, as you can imagine, was as painful as it was frightening. This loaf of bread was written to share not just the love and regard that I have for my mother, but also to remind you that no matter what you are faced with, there is always something in it for you. That is of course, if you will allow yourself to continue to roam from room to room with your heart open.
This has been a journey not just or my mother, but for all of us who love her, every life that she has touched. And you know what they say about going places “ It’s not about the destination, but it’s about the journey”. So, you might wonder where am I going? Alzheimer’s is not the traveling companion that I would have chosen. But as I said, if you keep your heart open even Alzheimer’s has within it, blessings. For it has taught me volumes and it has given me an opportunity to share the journey for I have recently been named Spokesperson for the Wisconsin Alzheimer's Institute, University of Wisconsin School of Medicine, and the Public Health Center for Urban Population Health. A position designed to encourage education and conversation about Alzheimer’s as well as offer support caregivers.
So on this Mother’s Day I share with you “My Mother’s Heart” and not just what I’ve written, but also the promise that if you look for the heart in any situation, you will find it.
There was the one which held her faith. She was sure of herself and her place in the world and she shared this gift freely. One held her dreams and because she had them, she encouraged mine. Still another held her patience, which she was to a fault. And of course there was the guidance room, oh and the temperance room, I kinda exhausted the boundaries of those rooms. One held her wisdom, one held her kindness, one held her strength, and once when I was little, I even found my self in the one which held her pain. Oooh, now that one scared me. So I didn’t go back, well at least not for a long, long time. But now thinking back on that room, the thing I find amazing is that the pain never seeped out. It didn’t spill out into the other parts of the house. So you only saw it if you slipped into the room. Humm…But the thing that they all had in common was my mother’s heart.
The house still stands and it’s a beautiful old house. But most of these rooms are closed to me now. I try and remind myself, to be thankful that I know the way home and still have a key, well at least to the front door anyway. I go by often, to check in, help out, trying to maintain the old house you know. And so far she still greets me when I come. For which I thank God.
But before long she's off, she’s slipped into some room or another as there seem to be new rooms in the house now, rooms to which I’m not privy. She seems happy enough though, which is, I guess a good thing. For I’m not as good at hiding my pain as she was.
I stay as long as I can, hoping to gain entrance into now darkened rooms. Just to sit and be and remember. Just the other day I saw her in the kindness room and we sang together, her favorite spirituals. She remembered more words than I did. She looked at me and said “Thank you for what you do for me”. She reached out to touch my hand, and I saw the hands that first stroked my face, the hands that bathed me, the hands that combed my hair. The very hands that held me up, long after I’d learned to walk on my own. Surely I could do these things for her, though I never wanted to be a house, I will shield her.
Cause you see, that’s what I learned in my mothers house. I saw her do for us, everything, often in spite of herself. I learned faith and hope, patience and guidance, wisdom and temperance, kindness and strength and on top of all of that I got my mother’s heart.
And so for every door that closes in my mother’s house, it seems a room is opened in me. I try and create new places for us to meet, as well as rooms that will give to me and to others what my mother gave. Cause when you’ve been loved like that, well, you just got to keep it going. You’ve just got to love somebody.
All in all I am thankful though, because in spite all of the deterioration of that beautiful old house, so far every time I visit I am still greeted by my mother’s heart. And when, and if that changes, I will thank God that I can still remember.
This is not a “This is what I know so far” loaf of bread. Though there are some things I am sure of, I’m sure I’ve much more to learn. You see, twelve years ago my mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. This, as you can imagine, was as painful as it was frightening. This loaf of bread was written to share not just the love and regard that I have for my mother, but also to remind you that no matter what you are faced with, there is always something in it for you. That is of course, if you will allow yourself to continue to roam from room to room with your heart open.
This has been a journey not just or my mother, but for all of us who love her, every life that she has touched. And you know what they say about going places “ It’s not about the destination, but it’s about the journey”. So, you might wonder where am I going? Alzheimer’s is not the traveling companion that I would have chosen. But as I said, if you keep your heart open even Alzheimer’s has within it, blessings. For it has taught me volumes and it has given me an opportunity to share the journey for I have recently been named Spokesperson for the Wisconsin Alzheimer's Institute, University of Wisconsin School of Medicine, and the Public Health Center for Urban Population Health. A position designed to encourage education and conversation about Alzheimer’s as well as offer support caregivers.
So on this Mother’s Day I share with you “My Mother’s Heart” and not just what I’ve written, but also the promise that if you look for the heart in any situation, you will find it.
Monday, April 27, 2009
How Does Your Garden Grow?
“Mary Mary quite contrary how does your garden grow"?
With silver bells and cockle shells, And pretty maids all in a row?
Now, you know what is interesting to me about this nursery rhyme? As I understand the divine principle, the reaping of those things sown, the harvesting of only those things which one has planted. There is absolutely no way that Miss Mary could have worked her own garden. For the rhyme clearly states that Mary was quite contrary, which means that she was of a conflicting, uncooperative and obstructive nature. That she had an opposing disposition, which would make the growing of silver and cockle shell extremely difficult. With an attitude like that all you grow is confusion and not pretty maids all in a row.
So I'm thinking that it must have been those pretty maids working in all the rows of Miss Mary’s garden, and Miss Mary just took the credit. Guess what Mary, you just got busted.
With silver bells and cockle shells, And pretty maids all in a row?
Now, you know what is interesting to me about this nursery rhyme? As I understand the divine principle, the reaping of those things sown, the harvesting of only those things which one has planted. There is absolutely no way that Miss Mary could have worked her own garden. For the rhyme clearly states that Mary was quite contrary, which means that she was of a conflicting, uncooperative and obstructive nature. That she had an opposing disposition, which would make the growing of silver and cockle shell extremely difficult. With an attitude like that all you grow is confusion and not pretty maids all in a row.
So I'm thinking that it must have been those pretty maids working in all the rows of Miss Mary’s garden, and Miss Mary just took the credit. Guess what Mary, you just got busted.
So let me ask you this; how does your garden grow?
Gardening is one of the best metaphors for living that I can think of. It is a clear cut scenario of being able to receive only and all of what you invest. In other words if one plants dandelions, one can’t really expect roses to grow, now could one?
Still some people do, I once knew a woman who was quite contrary just like our Mary. She spoke a good game but put to test, it never held up. She felt the need to dominate every conversation with her opinion, which was always contrary to that of the person with whom she was speaking. Often times even contradicting herself. When things were calm she would create drama, she appeared to always be looking for some cause, some reason to create conflict. She seemed to have a deliberately opposing view on everything. And in any group situation, was completely uncooperative which of course would obstruct and hinder the progress of the group.
Mary, Mary soooooo contrary, how does your garden grow?
Well, the Mary that I refer to, is at best joke among many of the circles into which she interjects herself. She is at best tolerated, and seldom trusted. Her home life as well as her finances reflect her planting. Now the sad thing about our Mary is that she has a need to feel important, to be seen and to feel loved, not unlike the most of us, yet she plants seeds of destruction and reaps the same. For it is the law.
Gardening as a metaphor for living.
So what does it take to grow a beautiful and healthy garden?
Good seeds! Seeds of truth cross-pollinated with love, for a seed holds the potential of it’s outcome. It is sure to produce after it’s kind. This is why you can not plant dandelions and expect roses to grow. So then we see that knowledge of the nature of the seed is essential. And of course good and fertile ground is needed. Ground that has been prepared to receive the seed. The preparation of the ground in part, consist of understanding the law of planting and harvesting, sowing and reaping. If it is a good and healthy garden that you plan to grow, you are careful to plant what you will reap your desired harvest. Once planted you’ve got to work your garden, though you do not cause your garden to grow, it does that on it’s own. That's the wisdom of the seed and the law of the land, but you’ve got to create the right environment and then wait.
For you see this is what I know so far; Neither gardening nor living well is not rocket science. Both are based in the law that every seed that is planted will yield the nature of that seed.
Gardening is one of the best metaphors for living that I can think of. It is a clear cut scenario of being able to receive only and all of what you invest. In other words if one plants dandelions, one can’t really expect roses to grow, now could one?
Still some people do, I once knew a woman who was quite contrary just like our Mary. She spoke a good game but put to test, it never held up. She felt the need to dominate every conversation with her opinion, which was always contrary to that of the person with whom she was speaking. Often times even contradicting herself. When things were calm she would create drama, she appeared to always be looking for some cause, some reason to create conflict. She seemed to have a deliberately opposing view on everything. And in any group situation, was completely uncooperative which of course would obstruct and hinder the progress of the group.
Mary, Mary soooooo contrary, how does your garden grow?
Well, the Mary that I refer to, is at best joke among many of the circles into which she interjects herself. She is at best tolerated, and seldom trusted. Her home life as well as her finances reflect her planting. Now the sad thing about our Mary is that she has a need to feel important, to be seen and to feel loved, not unlike the most of us, yet she plants seeds of destruction and reaps the same. For it is the law.
Gardening as a metaphor for living.
So what does it take to grow a beautiful and healthy garden?
Good seeds! Seeds of truth cross-pollinated with love, for a seed holds the potential of it’s outcome. It is sure to produce after it’s kind. This is why you can not plant dandelions and expect roses to grow. So then we see that knowledge of the nature of the seed is essential. And of course good and fertile ground is needed. Ground that has been prepared to receive the seed. The preparation of the ground in part, consist of understanding the law of planting and harvesting, sowing and reaping. If it is a good and healthy garden that you plan to grow, you are careful to plant what you will reap your desired harvest. Once planted you’ve got to work your garden, though you do not cause your garden to grow, it does that on it’s own. That's the wisdom of the seed and the law of the land, but you’ve got to create the right environment and then wait.
For you see this is what I know so far; Neither gardening nor living well is not rocket science. Both are based in the law that every seed that is planted will yield the nature of that seed.
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Cassandra takes center stage at The Marcus Center For The Performing Arts to sing the National Anthem, at the 2010 Birthday Celebration for Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
